HQ Team
August 29, 2024: An intensifying culture of comparison, that defines success and fulfilment, is behind unrealistic expectations that US parents and kids are forced to chase and this has left many families “exhausted, burned out and perpetually behind,” according to a surgeon general’s advisory.
The so-called influencers and online trends fuel these unreasonable expectations around milestones, parenting strategies, achievements and status symbols to be achieved, the advisory from US Surgeon General Vivek Murthy, a father of two, stated.
The 36-page advisory called for major shifts in policy and cultural norms to negate mental health problems faced by parents. It called for attention to the importance of parental stress, mental health and well-being, stressors unique to parenting, and the bidirectional relationship between parental mental health and child outcomes.
“The work of parenting is essential not only for the health of children but also for the health of society,” Murthy wrote in the advisory. “Additionally, we know that the well-being of parents and caregivers is directly linked to the well-being of their children.
“Raising children is sacred work. It should matter to all of us. And the health and well-being of those who are caring for our children should matter to us as well.” About 63 million parents are living with children under the age of 18 in the US.
Future difficult to predict
Murthy said at a time when technological and economic forces have “reshaped the world at a dizzying pace,” it has also become harder for parents to prepare children for a future that is difficult to understand or predict.
America’s cultural norms must also support its people talking more openly about the challenges parents face and building more community for parents whose disproportionately high levels of loneliness compound the day-to-day challenges they face, he wrote in the advisory.
A surgeon general’s advisory is a public statement that calls the American people’s attention to an urgent public health issue and provides recommendations for how it should be addressed. Advisories are reserved for significant public health challenges that require the nation’s immediate awareness and action.
According to the advisory, recent data from 2021-2022 indicate that among parents, 23.9% (or 20.3 million) had any mental illness and 5.7% (or 4.8 million) of parents had a serious mental illness.
Mental health conditions are diagnosable disorders that significantly impact an individual’s thinking, mood, or behaviour. They are characterized by specific symptoms and criteria and may be episodic or chronic.
Anxiety, trauma disorders
Examples include depressive disorders, anxiety disorders, trauma and stress-related disorders, bipolar disorders, schizophrenia spectrum disorders, and personality disorders.
Mental health challenges refer to experiences or difficulties individuals may face, which can affect their mental health without necessarily meeting the criteria for a diagnosable mental health condition.
Over the past decade, parents have been consistently more likely to report experiencing high levels of stress compared to other adults. In 2023, 33% of parents reported high levels of stress in the past month compared to 20% of other adults, according to the advisory, which cited a 2023 survey of adults from the American Psychological Association.
The significant mental labour involved with parenting—balancing complex schedules, anticipating a child’s evolving needs, making countless decisions each day on behalf of a child, and monitoring progress—can limit working memory capacity and negatively impact attentional resources, cognitive functioning, and psychological well-being.
One-in-four US parents in the survey said there have been times in the past year when they did not have enough money for basic needs — food for their family or to pay their rent or mortgage — and a similar share said they have struggled to pay for the health care and child care their family needed.
Other family members
Parents who are also caring for ageing parents or other family members face additional strain. In many instances, they are responsible for primary caretaking, providing transportation, and assisting with health needs, amongst other responsibilities for ageing parents, while also dealing with the demands of caring for children.
Social isolation and lack of social support could lead to heightened stress.
In a 2021 survey, approximately 65% of parents and guardians, and 77% of single parents in particular, experienced loneliness, compared to 55% of non-parents. Furthermore, 42% of parents who experienced loneliness always felt left out compared to 24% of non-parents who experienced loneliness.
“Parenting is, by its nature, stressful. By taking steps to mitigate stress at every stage, we can decrease exposure to chronic or severe parental stress, empower parents to meet both the needs of their children and their own and reduce the likelihood of mental health conditions,” the advisory stated.
“Doing so will not be simple. It will require effective policy, strengthened programs, and meaningful culture change. But it is essential to creating a society that better supports parents and caregivers, as well as their children and families.”
