Sense of bereavement and parasocial grief norms

Bharti Jayshankar

January 4, 2024: A sense of bereavement is a common emotional response to the loss of a near and dear one. But sometimes the death of a public figure evokes a similar feeling, and research shows that the grief experienced can be as intense as at the loss of a loved one.

Experts call this grief ‘parascocial grief’ or the feeling that occurs when a celebrity, political figure, or other highly recognized person dies.

Research by Wendy Lichtenthal, Ph.D., a bereavement science researcher and founding director of the Center for the Advancement of Bereavement Care at Sylvester Comprehensive Cancer Center, part of the University of Miami Miller School of Medicine, delves on why we may grieve the loss of someone who has been in the news but not in our personal lives.

Emotional distress experienced when an individual loses a parasocial relationship, which is a one-sided bond formed by celebrities, can arise from various situations, including the death of a celebrity, the cancellation of a beloved show, or changes in a public figure’s career.

Parasocial relationships

Parasocial relationships are characterized by an illusion of intimacy and connection that audiences feel towards media personas. These relationships can develop through repeated exposure to media content, leading individuals to perceive these figures as friends or confidants despite minimal or no direct interaction. The term was first introduced by Horton and Wohl in 1956 and has since been explored extensively in psychological research.

Research suggests that we are “wired” to connect and attach to others. From the time we are born, we form attachments with our primary caregiver and then to extended family. Any form of separation or detachment leads to a sense of loss. This is at the heart of grief: We do not want to be separated from people we feel attached to, and grief is a protest reaction.

A parasocial relationship, though not the same as our daily relationships, still is a form of attachment and perceived validation. We grieve the loss of whatever was received “through” that relationship. Research suggests that public figures can embody our hopes for the future, act as reminders of the past, or symbolize important aspects of our worldview.

The range of emotions can vary from a sense of security, safety or creative connect and cravings. Public figures provide us with something that we lack in our present lives or create connections of nostalgia and memories.

Role of social media

Social media is now an intrinsic part of our lives and some seek emotional support via expressing their loss. Commmunity grief gives succour and sometimes even a headache. Studies showed grief policing incidents on social platforms on community pages formed to commemorate the deaths of public and popular figures. Researchers found that “commenters may be importing norms from other contexts when shared spaces consist of transient interactions that make norm formation difficult.”

Online spaces for parasocial grief can “help in the process of sense-making” and provide legitimacy to parasocial grief. In a study following the death of Michael Jackson, it was found that “social media served as grieving spaces for people to accept Jackson’s death rather than denying it or expressing anger over his passing”

In contrast to personal losses, parasocial grief and social media interactions increase the variety of participants and contexts in which grief is expressed. Participants are largely deferential to those closest to the deceased, allowing them to demonstrate appropriate behavior.

But conflicts surround celebrity deaths, and there are opinions on who, how, how long and where people can express grief. Hence, keeping an open mind to conflicting norms of social behaviour and resulting incivility is the way forward on social media platforms.

Why do some people react strongly to the loss of a public figure?

The answer again lies in the closeness one feels to that person. Research suggests that the degree of perceived closeness to the public figure is associated with the intensity of the grief that is experienced after their death. It can lead to mental and physical distress.

A study found that when viewers lose a media character they have developed a bond with, it can lead to negative emotional outcomes similar to those experienced in romantic breakups. The findings indicated that such distress could impact self-efficacy and motivation, potentially leading to unhealthy behaviors post-breakup.

Dr Lichtenthal said that if a grieving person was questioned deeply, then the resulting importance of the public figure’s persona in the person’s life is revealed, and the loss felt comes out as genuine.

Also, there is no timeframe for this grief. The sense of loss can persist for a long time or can be episodic. Reminders of death can bring with them waves of pain at any time for the rest of our lives.