By Aparna S
Aug 26, 2026: Tetsuko Kuroyanagi’s best-selling book, Totto-chan: The Little Girl at the Window, begins with a spirited and inquisitive girl who did not fit into the strict mould of her first school.
Totto-chan asked too many questions, gazed out the window too often, and disrupted the teacher’s carefully planned lessons. Eventually, she was expelled.
Rather than forcing conformity, Totto-chan’s mother enrolled her at Tomoe Gakuen, a Japanese school led by the visionary headmaster Sosaku Kobayashi. There, classrooms were old railway carriages, lessons often took place in gardens instead of classrooms, and the curriculum was tailored to each child’s needs.
Totto-chan flourished—not because she was homeschooled, but because she was in an environment that celebrated her individuality and encouraged her curiosity. The Japanese name of the book is an expression used to describe people whom society considers to be failures.
Today, many parents see homeschooling as a way to recreate this magic. The appeal lies in adapting lessons to a child’s pace, protecting them from bullying, and incorporating cultural or moral values.
Children with special needs
In theory, it is the ultimate expression of parental love. But creating a Tomoe Gakuen-like experience demands far more than love.
Homeschooling as a formal movement gained popularity in the late 20th century, inspired by John Holt’s emphasis on individualised learning over rote memorisation. Yet, educating children at home is an ancient practice, dating back to times when families and communities were primary educators.
Now a recognised educational option worldwide, homeschooling offers diverse approaches tailored to children’s unique needs. It suits children with special needs or health constraints, providing flexible scheduling that continuously evolves to meet changing societal and technological demands.
However, there is a significant caveat: not all homes can be a Tomoe Gakuen, and not every parent is a Kobayashi. In many societies, including ours, most parents work outside the home. Even stay-at-home parents often struggle to find uninterrupted time for quality teaching.
Moreover, being a dedicated parent does not automatically equip one to handle the complexities of education or to prepare a child for higher education without formal certification.
Absorbing lessons
Successful homeschooling demands more than assigning workbooks or letting kids access online lessons. It requires daily, sustained involvement. Parents must become educators, planners, motivators—ensuring lessons are not merely completed, but absorbed.
This is a formidable challenge in today’s world, where families are stretched thin. Many parents juggle full-time jobs or multiple roles, and even stay-at-home caregivers must manage household duties, leaving limited time for structured teaching.
Without consistent engagement, homeschooling can lead to academic isolation and incomplete learning. Unlike Tomoe Gakuen’s open fields and gardens, most homes cannot offer such variety. Even with the best intentions, home education may be limited by physical and social confines, restricting a child’s mental horizons.
Traditional schools offer learning beyond the classroom—in playgrounds, hallways, and natural peer interactions. Urban apartments seldom provide these organic experiences.
One major hidden cost of homeschooling is reduced peer interaction. Schools are not just academic. They are social training grounds where children learn to share, negotiate, find resolutions to conflicts, and provide mutual support.
Group settings
While homeschooling families can organise community activities, these require planning, resources, and sometimes depend on location and finances. Without them, children may develop strong family bonds but face challenges adapting to group settings such as higher education and workplaces.
This is not to say homeschooling is flawed. With the right conditions—parents with time, resources, and motivation—it can be extraordinary. Children learn at their own pace, explore subjects deeply, and avoid overcrowded, under-resourced schools.
Yet, many success stories mask quieter failures—children who emerge underprepared academically, socially isolated, or with narrow perspectives.
Homeschooling must be a serious, long-term commitment, not an escape from conventional challenges in schools. It requires more than love; it requires a home that can be a Tomoe.
The lesson from Tomoe
Totto-chan’s joy at Tomoe Gakuen stemmed not just from freedom, but from structure, diverse experiences, and a headmaster who devoted energy to nurturing each child. She gained music, open spaces to explore, and peers to grow alongside.
A modern home can love a child deeply, but without open skies and rich human interaction, love alone is not enough. Homeschooling can nurture a Totto-chan—but only if parents can also offer a Tomoe.
(Dr Aparna S is a consultant psychiatrist and an Assistant Professor at the Believers Church Medical College Hospital, Tiruvalla, Kerala. Views expressed are her own and not of an organisation or company.)
