By Aparna S
January 27, 2025: Maternal bonding is a fundamental medium of human interaction that shapes later development and personality functioning. The presence or absence of a mother profoundly influences a child’s physical, emotional, spiritual, and mental development across various dimensions.
John Bowlby, a British psychologist, did extensive research on the role of secure attachment in human bonding and its implications on the evolving personality of a child. His attachment theory emphasizes the importance of early bonding between a child and the primary caregiver, i.e., the maternal figure.
This theory is the foundation of a “secure base” concept, which is a framework that helps to build resilience and self-reliance in children. The caregiver is a “safe nest” from where he can explore the world and always fly back for comfort when needed. In adolescence, attachment security has been positively linked to outcomes ranging from peer popularity to higher self-esteem. Conversely, disrupted attachment—or its absence—is a root cause of many psychiatric disorders, including anxiety and depression.
While this psychological framework is often applied in modern contexts, let us explore the prototypes of secure and non-secure attachments through the lens of the Indian epic, the Mahabharata, focusing on the lives of estranged cousins and arch-rivals –Krishna and Karna.
Krishna and his Charisma
Although separated from his biological parents at birth, Krishna’s upbringing reflects the essence of secure attachment, where caregivers provide consistent love, safety, and trust. Born to Devaki and Vasudeva, Krishna was raised by Yashoda and Nanda in Gokul. Tucked away safely from the clutches of his evil uncle Kamsan, the divine infant thrived under Yashoda’s unconditional love and visionary mentorship of Nanda.
From Bowlby’s perspective, this nurturing environment provided a secure base that enabled Krishna to develop a profound sense of self-confidence and emotional resilience. He became a charismatic leader with a charming personality, capable of forming meaningful relationships and guiding others with wisdom. Krishna’s playful and loving interactions illustrate his ability to form and maintain healthy bonds.
Paradoxically, this secure attachment may have been the reason for his conscious detachment. Rooted in a strong sense of self, Krishna could navigate the complexities of life with clarity, fulfilling his dharma without being overly entangled in emotions. His balanced approach exemplifies how secure attachment fosters autonomy and the capacity to face life’s challenges.
Perhaps this is what he meant to convey to Arjun and thereby to the world with the Gita verse: “the mind is indeed very difficult to restrain. But by practice and detachment, it can be controlled. Karna: The estranged “Kauntheyn”
Karna: The estranged “Kauntheyn”
Karna’s story, in contrast, reflects the struggles associated with insecure attachment, particularly avoidant and anxious patterns. Born to Kunti but abandoned at birth, Karna was raised by a foster family who loved him deeply. However, the knowledge of his abandonment haunted him, creating a sense of inadequacy and a longing for recognition.
Karna’s relationship with Duryodhana (the Pandava) exemplifies the anxious attachment style. He becomes overly reliant on Duryodhana and looks for validation and status from him despite his unethical actions. This dependency often clouded Karna’s judgment, leading him to make choices inconsistent with his inherent sense of righteousness and justice. He masked his desperate need for recognition with a facade of loyalty.
Karna also had avoidant tendencies, masking his vulnerabilities with a facade of strength. His reluctance to reconcile with his biological family and his bitterness towards society reflected the unresolved wounds of abandonment. Unlike Krishna, Karna’s attachment wounds led to a life marked by inner turmoil and conflict.
What if otherwise?
What if Karna had been brave enough to break free from his insecurities and reconcile with his biological family? Could he have convinced both sides to avoid the bloodshed of war?
These questions underscore the long-lasting effects of the first and most primary relationship every living being forms—the bond with their mother.
Attachment theory underscores the importance of nurturing environments and the profound impact of early relationships on an individual’s psychological and emotional well-being. It also serves as a lens for reflecting on our own attachment patterns and how they influence our lives.
A wider perspective
Let’s dream of a world where every child is blessed with a loving and unconditional bond with their mother/caregiver. Perhaps—just perhaps—that is the key to a world without wars.
(Dr Aparna S is a consultant psychiatrist and an Assistant Professor at the Believers Church Medical College Hospital, Tiruvalla, Kerala. Views expressed are her own and not of an organisation or company.)